After I Wipe Away the Tears
by dearmanica
Summary: Charlie has been gone on a mission for months and Braeden has been taking it hard. Severus tries to show her how he feels but is he too late or will he succeed. Rated for language and mild adult themes. Based on line from Sarah McLachlan's "Possession"
1. Ground Control to Severus

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate. **_

_**Thanks go to Jessalynvix for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. I hope that this one gets more that 3 fracking reviews! I have two stories that don't even have reviews. **_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language. If you disapprove then just don't read.**_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 1: Ground Control to Severus

It was a typical Friday night during the war at 12 Grimauld Place. The war in America was over and had been for months. The small American force that came to help was a very welcome relief. Braeden Gryffindor was now interim director of the American Bureau of Magic and had insisted that they assist the British to prevent the war from coming back to them with a vengeance. Most of the Order as well as some of the Americans were gathered around the coffee table by the floo planning the next mission. Charlie Weasley as well as two others had gone to Romania to try to gather reinforcements. They had been gone for about a month or so by this point. His absence had started taking a toll on his family and friends. Braeden seemed to have taken it harder than anyone. She had become very moody, distant, and dangerously quiet. Of course Charlie's absence had affected Severus as well since they were close but he was seemingly staring off into space instead of being moody. This night was no different as he and Septima Vector sat at the table towards the back of the drawing room while Braeden sat with the others looking at maps and planning the next move.

"Are you even listening? Professor? Hello? Professor Snape? Do you have the list for me? Severus? Earth to Severus? I kind of need that list…" asked Septima as she frantically waved her hands in front of the potion master's face. He was completely ignoring the Welsh brunette and was focused elsewhere. That elsewhere being the pretty American sitting on the arm of the couch.

"Oh…um…yeah…here…" replied Severus as he handed Septima with a list off of the table. He didn't even notice which list he had handed the woman. His eyes never left their fixed point of the pretty former student. Septima looked at the list and sighed.

"Um, this is Molly's grocery list…This isn't the list I was asking for…" responded Septima as she showed the dark haired man the list he had handed her, "Weren't you listening…"

Everyone in the room heard what was going on and stopped to turn and see what was going on. What they saw was Septima trying to get Severus out of an apparent semi-catatonic stare that was fixated on the red headed seraph before she had turned around to see what everyone was staring at. As soon as the red head turned around and his ebony eyes met her violet-green eyes for half a second, his head hit the table with a thwack with the words, "Bloody fucking shit" coming from his lips. Everyone was starting to become concerned with Severus' behavior at this point. He had been like this since the Americans came and the others were worried that their newly gained aid would leave. Braeden had enough of the distraction and disruption as she got up and grabbed the rather large and thick book that sat on the coffee table near "Mad Eye" Moody. The room grew deathly quiet as all eyes were on the seraph as she walked towards the table. She slammed the book down and Severus picked his head up as he turned to look at her. She looked utterly pissed off beyond all belief. Everyone felt pity for the potions professor as he bit his lip in fear.

"You. Me. My office. Now…" she ordered as she pointed to a small soundproofed room that Sirius allowed her to magically add inside the drawing room. Severus went into the room as she followed behind him and slammed the door behind them.

_**Thanks for those of you who have read this story. I'm starting writing a sequel to "Pretty Rave Girl" titled "Remember Two Things" and it'll deal with Braeden and Charlie's relationship.**_** Please review!! I like reviews!!! I crave reviews!!! Thanks goes to Jessalynvix for all of her help!**


	2. Mostly One Sided Conversations

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate. **_

_**Thanks go to Jessalynvix for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. I hope that this one gets more that 3 fracking reviews! I have two stories that don't even have reviews. **_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language. If you disapprove then just don't read.**_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 2: Mostly One Sided Conversations

"What the fucking hell is wrong with you, Snape?!?" Braeden yelled as the door closed. Severus moved to sit on the desk in the room with his head hanging down like a student being yelled at for misbehaving in class. He hated being yelled at by anyone especially by her. He also hated disappointing her and he felt that he had. He felt horrible for daydreaming and wished Charlie was home so it could at least not be as noticeable. "Answer me…" she demanded when he did not immediately answer her. He shrugged his shoulders as she sighed in frustration. He couldn't bring himself to look at her and knew that she was angry at him. "Verbalize… "she continued.

"Nothing…I'm sorry…" he answered softly. She sighed again in frustration. She had had enough of this strange behavior. To her, every wrong move meant another injury or death. They just couldn't afford that, not until Charlie came home with reinforcements. And even then they couldn't afford a loss. Severus braced himself for the worst.

"We need those ingredients on that list to make potions for the medical kits that are going on the next mission. And since you refuse to tell me or anyone else what improvements you have made to most of the potions, I have to rely on you…We have to rely on you. We need those kits. We don't need you spacing off," she explained. Severus felt guilty for wanting her to love him and for daydreaming so much. However, he couldn't stand Braeden being so angry with him.

"I'm sorry…Won't happen again…I swear…" he answered again softly as he fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. He was thankful that his long hair was hiding his face and he was looking down at the ground. He didn't want to embarrass himself even more by crying in front of her.

"I'm not her…She's dead and buried…She's gone…So stop wishing that I was her…" Braeden said with anger still in her voice. She figured that Lily Evans Potter had to be the reason that he was acting strangely. She had in passing been compared to her before and had enough of it. That wasn't the reason and Severus couldn't bring himself to tell Braeden that it was her that he wanted and not Lily.

"It's just better this way…" he thought to himself, "She can never find out how I feel…Hopefully Charlie will be home soon…he and I really need to talk…I can't take this anymore…"

Braeden sighed and said, "Just get your act together…Go…I don't want to repeat this conversation again…" He stood up and walked out of the room as she sat down behind the desk. As he closed the door, she put her head in her hands and started to cry. She had been holding it all in while she basically yelled at Severus. She loved Charlie with all of her heart but she could help but love Severus as well and she hated herself for it. "I wish you could love me instead of her…or at least I wish that I could stop loving you…I just want the pain to stop…Charlie, I need you here…I'm so sick of being alone…" she whispered as she started to sob.

**_Thanks for those of you who have read this story. I'm starting writing a sequel to "Pretty Rave Girl" titled "Remember Two Things" and it'll deal with Braeden and Charlie's relationship._ Please review!! I like reviews!!! I crave reviews!!! Thanks goes to Jessalynvix for all of her help!**


	3. Some Semblance of Normalcy

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate. **_

_**Thanks go to **__**Jessalynvix**__** for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. At least **__**His Lil' Half-Blood Princess**__** sent a review or two my way. I hope that I get more reviews soon! **_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language. If you disapprove then just don't read.**_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 3: Some Semblance of Normalcy

Everyone had gone back to doing whatever it was that they were doing before the silence was broken. Moody was discussing the plans for the mission while everyone else at the coffee table was listening. He had just started to give everyone the information that Lucius and Narcissa had sent them through Severus in an encoded letter. Septima had found the list she needed and had taken Ginny with her to go get the necessary supplies for the mission. Ron had gone downstairs to help his mum in the kitchen. When Severus walked back into the drawing room, he noticed that everyone was preoccupied and sat back down at the table where he was sitting before very relieved. He started to make himself busy or at least appear as such. After about a half an hour later after Severus walked in, Septima and Ginny came back in with several rather large sacks filled with supplies. The two young women took the supplies and put them in the makeshift potions lab and came back a few moments later. About an hour or so later, Molly announced that dinner was ready as she and Ron came up from the kitchen with food. Everyone started to make their way around the table as Severus gathered his things and moved them to an armchair near the fireplace as place settings started to appear on the table. As they all sat down to eat, there were several chairs empty. Three of those belonged to Charlie and his two assistants who were off trying to find people to aid them in the war. The fourth belonged to Braeden, who hadn't sat there the entire time that Charlie had been gone. Everyone was used to not seeing her at the table at mealtimes at this point but wished that she would try to be social even though he wasn't there. Charlie had gotten her to eat or at least join them while he was there. While he was gone Ginny had been trying to convince Braeden to join them during his absence. Ginny looked up to the older red headed woman like an older sister and was the only one to vocalize what everyone was thinking.

"Hey Mum…Where's Braeden? Don't you think she should be here to join us?" inquired Ginny as she looked around the table and then to the empty chair. Everyone else looked around and agreed with what the young redheaded witch said.

"She is probably in her office planning…She needs to eat…She's much to thin… She really hasn't eaten much since she got here…" Molly mentioned as she sat the last dish down on the table. She turned and looked at Severus as he sat there and asked, "Severus…Would you be a dear and go let her know that dinner is ready? Please?" He shook his head and refused to get up. He was still embarrassed about his behavior and his conversation with the American redhead. Everyone felt bad about what had happened earlier as well and wanted to prevent him from being embarrassed further. Ginny looked to Septima who slightly nodded and smiled.

Septima got up from the table and stated, "I'll do it Molly…I'm closer to the office anyway than he is…" Severus was relieved that he didn't have to do it and sighed.

"Thank you, Mia…I really appreciate it…" replied Molly as Septima walked over to the office door.

*** *** ***

"Hey Braeden…Molly has dinner ready…" Septima mentioned as she opened the door. She walked in and shut the door behind her when she didn't hear a response from the seraph. She then noticed that Braeden had on headphones on her ears and her back to the door. She was listening to music as she read over some old notes that she had for a mission. Septima walked around to face her and lightly tapped the redhead on the arm to get her attention. Braeden looked up from her notes and smiled at her friend as she removed the headphones.

"Hey Mia…What's up?" the redhead asked as the Welsh brunette stood there looking concerned. Braeden wondered what was wrong and if her friend figured out that she had been crying for the last hour or so. She had just stopped and was trying to clear her mind. The American didn't want to appear weak in front of the others.

"Just wanted to let you know that dinner was ready….but I wanted to see if you're okay…You seemed pissed off at Severus earlier…" responded the brunette. The redhead sighed and lightly laughed at the statement.

"Okay…Tell Molly that I said thanks but I'm not really hungry…And yes I'm okay…I just don't want any more losses or injuries that's all…" responded the seraph.

"Okay but Molly seemed pretty insistent…She's worried…We all are…C'mon at least join us…" sighed Septima. Braeden lightly laughed again and smiled.

"Fine, I'll eat…but can y'all keep the topic off of why I had to talk to Severus alone…Or ask me why I've been really distant…I'd greatly appreciate it…Please, Mia?" requested the redhead as she got up and turned off the stereo.

"Sure thing, Braeden…I think that we can do that…" replied Septima as she smiled back at her friend. They exited the office and joined the others at the table.


	4. All Together, All Alone

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate. I also do NOT own the songs "Seven Bridges Road", "The Lighthouse's Tale" or" The Smoothie Song", They are owned by The Eagles and Nickel Creek. I don't also own the book **__**Radio Free Albemuth**__** which is owned by Philip K. Dick, who is awesome.**_

_**Thanks go to **__**Jessalynvix**__** for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. At least **__**His Lil' Half-Blood Princess**__** sent a review or two my way. I hope that I get more reviews soon! **_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language. If you disapprove then just don't read.**_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 4: All Together, All Alone

After dinner was done and the dishes were cleared from the table, everyone sat around the drawing room near the fireplace talking. The Americans liked to use this time to swap stories with their new allies and for everyone to get to know each other. They would talk about their families and friends, their experiences, funny stories from childhood and other such stories. They even told jokes that had even "Mad Eye" Moody laughing until he lost his breath. Then Gunny brought up the idea of playing music and singing.

"Hey Director, let's play music like we normally do…These Brits need to hear some good American music…" mentioned Gunny. All the other Americans vocally agreed with the older man. The others were excited and agreed as well.

Braeden sighed and nodded then stated, "But Gunny…We don't have our instruments…" Carter, a young Creole who also went by the call sign Grux, smiled and got up and brought her two small cases and a large case. He opened the large one to reveal a guitar and handed it to Gunny. Carter then opened one of the smaller cases and handed a violin to a young half French half Asian auror named John Michael, who started to tune the instrument. The last case that the young man opened revealed a mandolin. When she saw it, she cried as he handed it to her. "How…Why…" she stammered as she wiped her tears away silently cursing herself for showing weakness. She was shocked that her group remembered to bring them.

"We knew that we might need those to help bridge the culture gap…and we were right…I was extra careful with it…I know that it means a lot to you…being your dad's and all…" replied John Michael as he smiled. Braeden smiled and started to tune the instrument. After a few minutes they were ready to start playing.

"Well Gunny what should we play…You have any suggestions…" asked Carter as he smiled at the older wizard.

"Why don't we start with 'The Smoothie Song' and go from there…" said Gunny as he plucked out a few notes and Braeden took her medication.

After they played that song and everyone clapped for them. They noticed that Braeden started to smile more. Everyone was happy about that and smiled as well.

"What next Gunny? How about something with words this time…" suggested Lorelei, a pretty American blonde medic that was sitting on the floor next to Tonks.

"Sure…How about 'Seven Bridges Road'…That's always a good one…" responded Gunny as he gave the starting chord. He, Carter, Braeden, and John Michael hummed the notes to start. Then they began to sing,

_There are stars  
In the southern sky  
Southward as you go  
There is moonlight  
And moss in the trees  
Down the seven bridges road_

Now I have loved you like a baby  
Like some lonesome child  
And I have loved you in a tame way  
And I have loved you wild

Sometimes there's a part of me  
Has to turn form here and go  
Running like a child from these warm stars  
Down the seven bridges road

There are stars in the southern sky  
And if ever you decide  
You should go  
There is a taste of time sweetened honey  
Down the seven bridges road

Everyone clapped and whistled as the finished. Most of them had never heard Braeden sing before. They were quite surprised that she was that good. She looked around the room at everyone. Severus smiled at her and made her blush. She looked down as she began to blush a deep red. Then they waited for the next song to start.

"Hey Braeden why don't we play 'The Lighthouse's Tale' you do really well on that one…Show off your talent…" suggested Gunny as he smiled at her. He wanted her to let out her emotions and this song was the perfect one to do that with.

She nodded and smiled and said, "Only if you promise to do the harmonies…and not leave me hanging…" Gunny nodded in agreement and everyone smiled. Gunny started to play and she followed then she started to sing,

_I am a lighthouse worn by the weather and the waves  
I keep my lamp lit to warn the sailors on their way  
I'll tell a story, paint you a picture from my past  
I was so happy but joy in this life seldom lasts_

Then John Michael started to play and Braeden started to smile when he joined in and continued to sing,

_I had a keeper, he helped me warn the ships at sea  
We had grown closer 'til his joy meant everything to me  
And he was to marry a girl who shown with beauty and light  
They loved each other, and with me watched the sunsets into nights_

_And the waves crashing around me  
The sand slips out to sea  
And the winds that blow remind me  
Of what has been and what can never be_

Then as they played she sighed and was watching everyone's faces as they listened and Severus's gaze never left her face as she continued,

_She'd had to leave us; my keeper, he prayed for a safe return  
But when the night came, the weather to a raging storm had turned  
He watched her ship fight, but in vain against the wild and terrible wind  
And me so helpless, as dashed against the rocks she met her end_

Everyone started to cry at the words and sighed. Then Gunny, Carter, Lorelei, and John Michael joined her with the most beautiful harmonies as they sang,

_And the waves crashing around me  
The sand slips out to sea  
And the winds that blow remind me  
Of what has been and what can never be_

Then as the song continued she started to look at Severus and their eyes met and she held his gaze as she continued to play. She felt weak for wanting the potions master so badly but couldn't fight it no matter what she did. Gunny knew she had to let out her emotions and figured that this was safer than what she would normally do. She needed to know that it was okay to cry in front of everyone and singing was the perfect outlet for her to do so. She was trying to fight the tears in her own eyes as she continued to sing, _  
_  
_Then on the next day, my keeper found her washed up on the shore  
He kissed her cold face, and that they'd be together soon he swore  
I saw him crying, watched as he buried her in the sand  
Then he climbed my tower, and off the edge of me he ran_

She couldn't help it and started to cry as her voice started to tremble. Then Gunny, Carter, Lorelei, and John Michael joined her again with the beautiful harmonies as they sang,

_And the waves crashing around me  
The sand slips out to sea  
And the winds that blow remind me  
Of what has been and what can never be_

I am a lighthouse worn by the weather and the waves  
And though I'm empty I still warn the sailors on their way

After they finished singing, Braeden sighed as everyone clapped and wiped tears from their eyes. Gunny gave her a hug and whispered in her ear, "It is okay…if you needed this…You can't just keep to yourself…It's not healthy…"

She gave him a small smile and whispered back, "Thanks, Gunny…You're right…" She wiped the tears from her own eyes as Bill lightened the mood with a joke. Everyone went back to laughing and talking as Braeden gently put her mandolin in its case and said her good nights then excused herself to the bedroom that she and Charlie shared. If Charlie was there, they would have held each other close and talked until they fell asleep. However, he was gone and she was alone. She walked in and cast a locking spell on the door. She sighed and placed her handheld on the small stereo dock that was in the room on the bedside table then turned on the stereo. She picked up the book she had been reading every night that he had been gone as the music started to softly play. She had done this every night since the redheaded dragon tamer had been gone so she could stay awake as long as possible. She hated the reoccurring nightmares that she had when she slept alone. She forced herself to be an insomniac and was at the point of where everyone was worried that she would soon be unable to tell reality from dreaming or as Lorelei called it, micro napping. Braeden was about to start a new chapter in her book, _Radio Free Albemuth _by Philip K. Dick, when there was a knock on the door. She ignored the noise and kept reading as her hand reached for her wand that was at her side.

"Can I come in…Please…Braeden…" said the voice on the other side of the door. It sounded sad, lonely, and almost on the verge of tears. She silently got up to get a vial of throat medication, unlocked the door, and let go of her wand then sat back down. There was another a moment or two of silence and the voice spoke again, "Talk to me…Please…I can't take this…" She got up, marked her place in her book before she placed it on the bedside table, and walked to the door. She opened the door to find the first person she expected to see and the last person she wanted to talk to.

"Come in…I figured that you wanted to talk…" she said as the owner of the voice walked in and she shut the door then locked it back.

_**Thanks for those of you who have read this story. I'm starting writing a sequel to "Pretty Rave Girl" titled "Remember Two Things" and it'll deal with Braeden and Charlie's relationship.**_** Please review!! I like reviews!!! I crave reviews!!!**


	5. Wanting and Lost in Southern Comfort

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate... I don't also own the alcohol brand Southern Comfort, also known as SoCo, which is owned by Southern Comfort Company.**_

_**Thanks go to **__**Jessalynvix**__** for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. At least **__**His Lil' Half-Blood Princess**__** sent a review or two my way. I hope that I get more reviews soon! Sorry for the long wait but the stupid oil spill in the Gulf has kept me busy!**_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language, sexual innuendos, and alcohol consumption. If you disapprove then just don't read. **_

_**Suggestion: Since there is music playing in the background in this chapter the following songs work really well in this chapter, but you may listen to whatever you want while reading:**_

_**Collective Soul – "The World I Know", Daughtry – "What About Now", 311 – "Love Song", and Incubus – "Aqueous Transmission"**_

_**So now the music is playing...let's begin shall we?**_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 5: Wanting and Lost in Southern Comfort

Severus sat down at the foot of the bed as Braeden sat on the other end and leaned back against the headboard and took her medication. They sat in total silence for what seemed like hours as the music continued to play until she sighed and said, "You asked to come in…so are you going first or should I…" as she got up and grabbed a bottle of Southern Comfort and two glasses.

It was his turn to sigh and answered, "Sorry…um…I'll go first…" as she sat down and placed the bottle and glasses on the small table by the bed. She fixed herself a glass of SoCo and silently offered Severus a glass as well. He accepted the glass she held in her hand and stared at the amber liquid before he took a sip out of the glass. "I'm really sorry about earlier…I promise that I won't do it again…" Severus stated softly with his eyes fixed on his glass. He sighed before continuing, "I hope you aren't too angry with me…"

Braeden sighed and looked at him and smiled. She gently responded, "It's okay, Sevi, but I was honest back there…I didn't mean to yell at you though…I'm sorry…It's just that…We can't afford anymore losses…" He nodded in agreement. He knew that she meant well and that she was lonely, but he also knew that it was her loneliness that caused her to be slightly short tempered. Charlie was gone and it was making her miserable. Her misery and loneliness were what Severus was half hoping that would be the things that drover to him and make her realize that he loves her just as much as the younger man did. Instead it led to this, her anger and his pain.

"I know…I know…" the potions master whispered as he stared at his glass. The sat there silent for a moment or two until Severus mentioned, "You sang beautifully tonight…I haven't heard you sing in years…Not since my last stay at your apartment in Mobile…"

She smiled and whispered, "Thanks…You seemed to remember more than I do of that night…The memories are still a bit fuzzy…" He shrugged his shoulders a he drank, draining his glass. She reached over to grab the bottle from the bedside table and refilled their glasses. He muttered his thanks as she put the bottle back on the table. Suddenly, he noticed that her hair wasn't its normal vibrant blood red like it was earlier, but a pale blonde with the most vibrant blue streaks. He knew that meant that she was either suddenly depressed and finally letting her guard down or getting ready to apologize for her temper.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" inquired the dark haired man as she quickly drained her glass.

"It's nothing…Nothing important…" she whispered as she poured herself another glass.

"You know…" he started as she drained that glass just as quickly as the one before it.

"Please…Just drop it…" she pleaded as she refilled her glass.

"Sure…" he responded as he finished his glass. She refilled it and they both sighed as they silently drank.

"Do you have help for getting the kits ready?" she asked as she finished and refilled her glass again.

"The Weasley twins volunteered to help…They are quite good at potions if they concentrate and don't goof off…" he answered as he finished his glass.

"That's good…that way they don't drive everyone insane…" she replied as she quickly drained her glass. She went to refill their glasses and noticed the bottle was empty. She shrugged her shoulders and set the bottle on the table. She got up, walked over to the dresser, and opened a secret compartment to find another two bottles of Southern Comfort. "I hid these for emergencies such as these…" she muttered. He softly chuckled and shook his head as she walked back to the bed and refilled their glasses before sitting back down. They had barely looked at each other all night that night. He looked up from his glass and saw a slight sadness in her beautiful violet-green eyes as she stared at her glass. She looked up at him and tried to smile but her hair color didn't budge from the pale blonde with blue streaks back to the blood red hair that she normally had. He wanted to try to inquire again about what was wrong but was afraid that she would shut him out and decided to leave it alone.

"So what were you reading earlier?" Severus asked instead of the question that he had in mind.

"It's really good…It's called _Radio Free Albemuth_…Philip K. Dick's a good writer…" Braeden answered as she lightly smiled, "You can borrow it when I'm finished…if you want…" He smiled back and nodded. They continued to talk and drink as the music played in the background until around midnight. She took her medication while they talked. "You need some sleep, Braeden…" Severus whispered with a slight slur in his speech as he noticed the clock on the table. "Besides we're outta SoCo…" he noted as they stared at the three empty bottles on the small table near the clock.

Braeden nodded sadly as he got up to leave. She quickly got up and grabbed his wrist before he walked away and pleaded, "Don't leave…Please…Sevi…Don't leave…Stay…Please…I need you…"

He stopped and turned towards her and whispered, "I can't…I'm sorry…I don't want to go…But I can't stay…I'm sorry…You need to be faithful…" She started to cry and it broke his heart to see her in pain, but he wanted to do the right thing. He tried to walk away but it hurt to see her like this. "She's so vulnerable…so fragile…I wish this war was over…Or at least let Charlie come back…I hate seeing her in pain like this…But I can't stay…I can't…It'll lead down a road that will just cause more pain in the end…" he thought as he watched her cry. She was barely looking at him as she cried.

She hated feeling weak but was lonely and it was almost unbearable. She thought, "He's being so nice…I'm so fucking stupid for asking…He doesn't want me…He wants her…I've got to let this go…I've got to let him go…It hurts…But I have to…" She let go of his wrist and stared at the floor as the tears streamed down her face.

He couldn't take it anymore and whispered, "I'm sorry, Braeden…but I have to…" as he ran his fingers through her hair. She looked up at him and with tears in her eyes tried to smile.

She softly stated, "It's okay…I understand…I have to realize that you don't love me…and never will…"

He stared at her in shock at what the woman in front of him said. He couldn't believe she had even uttered those words. "I do love you…but you're not mine…" he whispered as he gently wiped the tears from her eyes. He would give anything to show her that he loved her then without a moment's thought pulled her close and gently kissed her lips. Braeden gently parted her lips to allow Severus to deepen the kiss. She started to unbutton his robes as they continued. He wanted to stop and knew that he should, but she felt so good in his arms that he never wanted to let go. His hands slid down to the small of her back after she quickly removed his robe and shirt. He softly started to kiss her neck as his fingers caressed the skin under her t-shirt. His actions were responded with a soft breathy sigh from Braeden's lips. They broke contact long enough for Severus to slip off her shirt. They hesitated for a moment before their lips crashed into each other again with the rest of their clothes on the floor and their bodies tangled with the bed linens. They both knew what they wanted but wondered if the other wanted the same.

"Please…" Braeden barely whispered as Severus softly trailed kisses down her neck. He wanted her but the thought of betraying his best friends made him feel guilty. He pushed the thought aside as he kissed her lips with his hands exploring her body. "Please…Don't stop…" she pleased as she pulled him closer. He realized that one simple shift of his body and she would be his.

"I've wanted this for a long time…But I can't do that to her or Charlie…She's not mine to have…She doesn't belong to me…Charlie loves her…She loves him…I'll destroy that and lose them both…I need them…They are all I have…They are the only ones that I trust completely…I can't lose that…I can't lose them…Just because she and I are drunk…" he thought as he pulled away. "We can't do this…I want to…More than you'll ever know…I'm so sorry…I can't lose you or Charlie…" he whispered as he gently caressed her face. She sighed and bit her lip then responded, "Please stay…I don't want to be alone…Please stay…Hold me close and stay…Please just hold me…" He smiled as they shifted around so he could hold her and kissed her lightly on the lips as he pulled her close and she buried her face in his chest. They eventually fell asleep in each other's arms and drifted off into their own perfect world.

_**Thanks for those of you who have read this story. I'm starting writing a sequel to "Pretty Rave Girl" titled "Remember Two Things" and it'll deal with Braeden, Severus and Charlie's relationship.**_** Please review! I like reviews! I crave reviews! Thanks goes to Jessalynvix for all of her help! Yet again I'm so sorry that I haven't updated.**


	6. Hangovers and Advice

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate... I don't also own the alcohol brand Southern Comfort, also known as SoCo, which is owned by Southern Comfort Company.**_

_**Thanks go to **__**Jessalynvix**__** for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. At least **__**His Lil' Half-Blood Princess**__** and **__**NougatEvolution**__** sent a review or two my way. **__**NougatEvolution**__**, I hope that this will be up to your expectations. I hope that I get more reviews soon! Sorry for the long wait but the stupid oil spill in the Gulf has kept me busy! **_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language, sexual innuendos, and alcohol consumption. If you disapprove then just don't read. **_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 6: Hangovers and Advice:

Severus woke up the next day with a hangover as the early morning light shone in to the room. He looked around and noticed the naked slim built woman in his arms. "Oh…Holy...SHIT! What happened last night…Did we…Well, we are both naked…Oh bloody hell…Shit…I can't remember…Damn bloody Southern Comfort…We must have…I just need to quietly get dressed and slip out…I need to think…" he silently mentally yelled at himself. He quietly accio'ed his clothes, dressed quickly, and slipped out of the bedroom so he wouldn't wake Braeden. He walked down the hall to his room after checking to make sure that no one noticed him leaving Braeden and Charlie's room. He shut and locked the door before collapsing on the bed with a headache. As he buried his face into his pillow to keep the nausea and headache controlled, he muttered, "Charlie…Come home soon…Please…" He tried to go back to sleep to get rid of the hangover because it became too hard to try to think. About an hour or so later, he heard someone knocking on the door. He woke up still hung-over from the SoCo and with the headache developing into a migraine from the noise. He got up and started to search for a hangover potion in his trunk while he asked, "Who is it?"

"It's me…Bill…Mum sent me to check on you…You weren't at breakfast this morning…You okay?" the voice on the other side responded sounding concerned.

Severus sighed and thought about telling Bill that he was slightly hung-over. He knew that he could trust the redheaded curse breaker but wasn't sure if he could confess everything like he would with Charlie. He heard Bill sigh on the other side of the door and decided to answer, "Umm…Yes…Well…No…Just have a slight hangover…I'm alright…" He heard the door open and turned to see Bill standing there with a tray of food and a glass of water with a small bottle next to it.

"Can I come in? I come bearing offerings of food and aspirin…" stated Bill with a smiled as he came in and set the tray down on the dresser.

"You already entered, so sure… But why the aspirin?" noted Severus as he got up off the floor and picked up the small bottle off the tray before opening and taking three pills then drinking half of the glass of water.

Bill sat down on the chair in the room and laughed saying, "I figured that you would have a hangover…Braeden got up about an hour or so ago and drank about five cups of coffee and took four aspirins…She was muttering something about three bottles of Southern Comfort and you as she took the pot of coffee to her office…So I put two and two together after Mum noticed that you weren't there…Late night, huh, Sev…"

"You could say that…I really don't remember what happened…I can't remember…I've tried…" replied Severus as he took the tray to the bed and sat down cross-legged on the bed with the tray in front of him. He slightly smiled at the plate that was filled with eggs, sausage, toast, and bacon.

"I've had night like that…Trust me…Do you remember anything?" asked Bill as he sighed. Severus thought as he started to eat.

"I remember that she and I started talking…then drinking…" Severus started as he pushed around a forkful of eggs on the plate.

"Good…That's a start…Then what's the next thing you remember?" responded Bill

"That's the part that worries me…I remember getting up to leave then nothing until early this morning…" continued Severus as he nervously pushed around the food on his plate even more before eating.

"Okay…What happened then, Sev…?" Bill inquired worried about the older man. Severus sighed as he swallowed his food.

"I woke up…holding her…and…and we were both naked…Then I grabbed my clothes…Threw them on and came in here to think and fell asleep…I'm missing what happened in between…" he stated in a shaky voice.

"You aren't the type to steal your best friend's girl…There's a reasonable explanation for everything…It's obvious that you love her. You should tell her before you lose your chance…Charlie would say the same thing…You know I'm right…" Bill noted with a sigh.

Severus looked up at him and sighed before resuming eating. "No…I couldn't do that to Charlie…I've lost my chance…I never had one…I've accepted this…I've accepted my place as a friend…It bothers me that I can't remember what happened…I need to know if I had sex with her…If I betrayed my two best friends…" the dark haired potions master noted as he ate another forkful of eggs.

Bill sighed and looked concerned at the other man. "Don't worry…You'll eventually remember…I'll help you want…I'll keep this just between us…But you need to tell her that you love her…" Bill stated as he fiddled with the dragon fang in his ear.

"Can we please talk about something else? Maybe quidditch? Music? Please…can we talk about this later? Please?" the potions master pleaded.

Bill lightly laughed as he answered, "Sure, have you heard of the band, Peek…you know from America…" Severus smiled as he continued to eat and shook his head as Bill started to talk about the songs he heard on the wireless that morning during breakfast.

_**Thanks for those of you who have read this story. I'm starting writing a sequel to "Pretty Rave Girl" titled "Remember Two Things" and it'll deal with Braeden, Severus and Charlie's relationship.**_** Please review! I like reviews! I crave reviews! Thanks goes to Jessalynvix for all of her help! Yet again I'm so sorry that I haven't updated.**


	7. Trying to Console the Broken Hearted

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate... I don't also own the alcohol brand Southern Comfort, also known as SoCo, which is owned by Southern Comfort Company.**_

_**The band mentioned at the end of the last chapter is a real band. I don't own them but I have met them. They are a local band and are really good. You can find them on iTunes.**_

_**Thanks go to **__**Jessalynvix**__** for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. At least **__**His Lil' Half-Blood Princess**__** and **__**NougatEvolution**__** sent a review or two my way. **__**NougatEvolution**__**, I hope that this will be up to your expectations. I hope that I get more reviews soon! Sorry for the long wait but the stupid oil spill in the Gulf has kept me busy! **_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language, sexual innuendos, and alcohol consumption. If you disapprove then just don't read. **_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 7: Trying to Console the Broken Hearted

Not long after Severus had left the room and closed the door, Braeden felt the warmth that was wrapped around her had suddenly disappeared and fought hard to stay asleep. When she gave up after about five minutes and opened her eyes, she woke up alone in her seemingly large bed. She felt that she had been hit with a baseball bat and knew the feeling quite well from her college days. She figured that she had gotten drunk last night and confirmed that suspicion by looking at the three empty bottles of Southern Comfort. She looked at the other side of the bed and noticed that it still felt slightly warm. She didn't think anything of it until she picked up Charlie's pillow and held it close to her. She inhaled the scent that clung to the fabric and realized that something seemed out of place. Normally, it would faintly smell of rich dark earth and rain, the scent that she associated with Charlie. That scent was almost gone and was replaced by the scent of mahogany and vetiver and faintly of Southern Comfort. "What the hell… Why does Charlie's pillow smell like Sevi? I remember talking to him but I don't remember him staying…Oh…Holy…Shit…Did we…No…He would have stayed…He wouldn't walk away…He wouldn't leave and let me wake up alone…would he? He knows that I have abandonment issues…But I've done that to every one-night stand I've had… so maybe it's karma biting me in the ass to get revenge…Maybe I'm losing it…My mind is just fucking with me…" Braeden sighed and laid the pillow back on the bed. She got up, cast a quick scourgify, grabbed some clothes, dressed for the day, took her medication, and noticed that her hair color was a dark dull nearly black shade of brown. She sighed and walked down the stairs then saw that everyone else was either sitting at the table eating breakfast or sitting at the fireplace drinking tea and coffee. She sighed as she noticed that Severus wasn't there. "That's what I deserve for drinking three bottles of Southern Comfort…It's all my fault that he's gone…Sevi is gone and I've lost him…" she harshly muttered to herself as she found the bottle of aspirin on the coffee table in front of Septima and Bill. Bill had heard what she said and made a mental note to find out from Severus if what she said was true.

"You okay?" asked Septima as Braeden took out four aspirins and sighed. The seraph shook her head and muttered, "Hangover…headache and need coffee…" Septima looked at Bill with a look of concern as Braeden poured herself a cup of coffee and quickly drained it. They watched as she drank each cup of coffee like she was drinking shots at a bar as she took each pill. Braeden was on her fourth or fifth cup of coffee when Septima became really concerned.

Before the Welsh brunette could voice her concern out loud, Molly showed up with a tray of food and asked, "Braeden, dear…Have you seen Severus…He hasn't shown up and he stayed here last night…" The younger woman shook her head as she grabbed the pot of coffee, pushed past Sirius, walked to her office and locked the door. Molly sighed and handed the tray to Bill who had offered to take it, and he grabbed the aspirin bottle and placed it on the tray and headed upstairs.

Sirius walked up to where Bill sat on the couch and flopped down on it. "Hey Mia…is Lilly-blossom okay?" he asked as he ate a chocolate muffin that he grabbed from the breakfast table.

Septima looked at him confused and responded, "Who is Lily-blossom?"

As Sirius opened his mouth to answer, Remus sat down beside him and answered, "He means Braeden…He gave her that nickname when we found out that Lily and James were going to be her godparents…"

Sirius looked at the werewolf and playfully pouted, "I was going to say that, Moony…Now you stole my line…"

Septima sighed and stated, "She seemed like didn't feel well…I think someone should check on her"

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, silently deciding what to do about the situation. Sirius got up to go talk to Braeden when Remus shook his head and mentioned, "I think I know what this is about, Padfoot…You'll upset her more…She doesn't need that now…"

Sirius glared and replied, "I've buried the hatchet…So has he…He's my friend…But I don't want her hurt that's all…" Both men were silent as Sirius sat down and finished his muffin.

After about ten minutes or so, Remus got up and stated, "I'll go talk to her…If he comes down here, don't say a word…Pads, don't do anything stupid…I mean it or I'll hex you into next year…" Septima and Sirius nodes in agreement as Remus walked to Braeden's makeshift office and unlocked the door and let himself in. The door closed and relocked the door and let himself in.

Remus saw Braeden sitting at the desk with her back to the door and staring at a photo album of her friends and family. She was staring intently at a photo of her and Charlie from their seventh year that was taken a few weeks before graduation. She realized that she really did hear someone walk in and quickly put away the photo album. He could tell that she had been crying as she tried to quickly clear her face. "Hey Lily-blossom…You okay? You were acting strange this morning…Mia, Bill, Padfoot, Molly…Well everyone is worried about you…Does this have anything to do with him…has he hurt you?" Braeden pulled her knees to her chest and hid her face as Remus walked around to face her. "What happened? Please tell me…Please…" he softly asked as he knelt down to see her face better.

"I'm not sure…I don't remember much…" she replied as her eyes met his.

"What do you remember, Lily-blossom… I need to know if he hurt you…I won't tell a soul…I promise…" he requested.

She sighed and whispered, "Okay Moony…Last night Sevi came by and wanted to talk…so we talked while we drank…he got up to leave after we drank three bottles of Southern Comfort and I remember begging him to stay…but I don't remember anything else until I woke up this morning…But when I picked up Charlie's pillow…it smelled like Sevi, not Charlie…But if he stayed the night, why wasn't he there when I woke up…I don't care if he and I had sex or anything…I just want to know why he left and let me wake up alone…Charlie's never done that to me, but why did Sevi…That's what hurts…" She started to cry when she finished and Remus gently put his arms around her to hug her. She slid out of the chair and he ended up sitting on the floor with her in his lap. He knew that Severus wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt her or to compromise his friendship with her and Charlie. So he figured that the potions master just stayed the night so the seraph could sleep and panicked when he woke up not knowing what happened and left. Remus gently played with her hair and whispered nonsense softly into her ear. Her breathing slowed as she stopped crying when she pulled away and got up off the floor. She helped Remus to his feet and sighed, "I'm so sorry for the emotional outburst, Moony…I just want to find out…And I let it get to me…"

He smiled and responded, "It's okay, Lily-blossom…I'm here if you need me…We'll find out what happened…Don't worry…"

_**Thanks for those of you who have read this story. I'm starting writing a sequel to "Pretty Rave Girl" titled "Remember Two Things" and it'll deal with Braeden, Severus and Charlie's relationship.**_** Please review! I like reviews! I crave reviews! Thanks goes to Jessalynvix for all of her help! Yet again I'm so sorry that I haven't updated.**


	8. Starting to Freefall Into the Haze

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I do own the plot and the American OCs. Besides if I did I would quit working for the state government. The characters may/may not be OOC, so deal. The title came from a line from the Sara McLachlan song "Possession" that sounded appropriate...**_

_**Thanks go to **__**Jessalynvix**__** for helping with this story as well as the others I have written. At least **__**His Lil' Half-Blood Princess**__** and **__**NougatEvolution**__** sent a review or two my way. **__**NougatEvolution**__**, I hope that this will be up to your expectations. I hope that I get more reviews soon! Sorry for the long wait but the stupid oil spill in the Gulf has kept me busy! **_

_**CHALLENGE! The first one who can figure out where I found the phrases that will be in bold italics; I will write the one-shot based on whatever song you want using your choice of HP characters! Good Luck!**_

_**Warning: This chapter contains possible mentionings of mild violence and cursing/foul language, sexual innuendos, and alcohol consumption. If you disapprove then just don't read. **_

"_**After I Wipe Away The Tears"**_

Chapter 8: Starting to Freefall into the Haze

After Severus finished eating, he and Bill were still upstairs talking about music. Bill figured that Severus would let him know later when he wanted to try to sort things out. After a few hours, he went to take the tray downstairs and let Severus have some time to himself.

"Hey Sev…Let me know when you want to try to sort this out…I'll see you later…" said Bill as he smiled then took the tray and was leaving. Severus got up as well and walked out behind him. Bill turned around and asked, "Don't you want some time to think? I mean…I figured that you wanted some time alone to think…"

Severus shook his head and responded, "Not now…maybe later…yes later is better…I've got work to do…I can't afford having Braeden pissed off at me again…or worse…have Moody pissed off…He already hates me as it is…No need in giving him another reason…I'll let you know when I'm ready to sort things out…By the way, have you heard from Charlie…I'm really starting to worry…"

Bill nodded and stated, "He just sent some letters…I think that Sirius may still have yours and Braeden's letters…In the one that he wrote to the Order, he said that he's having a hard time but thinks that they will eventually get some cooperation… He hopes to be home in a week or two…"

Severus smiled and mentioned, "Good…then things can go back to the way that they used to be…the way that they should be…I'll get my letter from Sirius later…"

Bill laughed and replied, "C'mon Sev, you make it sound like she's a handful…" Severus laughed at the comment as well while they walked downstairs

Braeden and Remus were still in her office sorting out an encoded letter that her parents had sent as well as a report that Charlie had sent on the status of earning the trust and aid of the wizarding communities in Eastern Europe. Moody and Sirius had joined them along with Ron, Harry, and Hermione to plan the next move with the given information. Braeden was working to clearing her mind and it didn't help that Sirius had handed her a letter from Charlie as soon as he walked in. Remus was worried about her and that worry spread into Sirius. She had cleared up her face and took her medication but still seemed like she was coming down from a bad night of bingeing like she did nearly every weekend in college. She would space off a bit and when one of the others would touch her arm or snap their fingers to get her attention, she would almost have a panic attack.

Remus pulled her aside while the others were still talking and asked, "Lily-blossom, are you going to be okay…Do we need to finish up later?"

She shook her head and answered, "I'm fine…Just let me have a minute…and more coffee…Definitely more coffee…"

Remus stated, "No more coffee… you're drinking it like you're doing shots of tequila in a muggle bar…The caffeine is making you jittery…You're worse than Padfoot on caffeine…"

"Okay, Moony…I'll lay off the caffeine…Good thing too, because I was about to start smoking…" she commented as she fiddled with her rosary beads that her parents had given her that she always wore.

Remus sighed and commented, "Those things will slowly kill you…but if it will help…just no chain smoking…Deal?"

She laughed and nodded saying, "Deal…besides I can't die…Remember…I was born pretty much dead to begin with…My life has literally always been in Limbo…That's why I was able to easily save Sirius from the Veil…I'm the one who has to guide Harry to the other side and to where he decides to go after he fights Voldy…So not only is Harry's life dependent on a win, so is mine…He dies, Voldy lives…I die…If they both die, I die…Even if Harry is successful but chooses to die, I die…But only the Americans, Dumbledore, and my parents knew about it besides myself…even Charlie and Severus don't know…Now you do…Please don't say anything to anyone…I don't want Harry to find out…" Remus was shocked but agreed not to say anything to anyone. She sighed as she pulled out a cigarette and lit it up as she and Remus walked back to the desk to join the others. Sirius glared at Braeden because of the sight of her smoking and started to fuss but Remus shot him a look that said, "Back off, she's stressed…Dial back the parental instinct…" Remus and Sirius went back to listening to Moody as he explained the new plan of attack. They were wrapping up the meeting when Ron's stomach started to growl. He blushed as everyone laughed at the noise.

Hermione laughed and commented, "I guess it's time for lunch…Let's go eat…"

Braeden said as the others were leaving, "I'm going to go over the notes again…Y'all go ahead…"

Remus responded with, "C'mon, you need to eat…you can't live on caffeine and cigarettes…"

She shot back with, "Moony, I don't live off of just coffee and cigarettes…There is alcohol, nutrient potions and drugs…" When the adults in the room shot her a very stern parental glare and the teens gasped in shock, Braeden exclaimed, "What? It's true! FINE! For Saint Peter's fucking sake! I'll go! I hope that when I die that Saint Peter, Krishna, Jesus, Merlin, or whoever the fuck runs heaven gives me a motherfucking medal for putting up with this shit!" The others started to leave and were slightly relieved that she agreed to go. She sighed as they all walked out of the office and muttered, "_**Eloi, Eloi lema sabachthani?**_ What did I do to deserve this?"

Severus and the Weasley twins had worked on the kits most of the morning. They were almost finished stocking the kits when Sirius came downstairs and announced that lunch was ready. Severus dismissed the twins and kept working. When he noticed that Sirius was still there, he said, "Hey Sirius, I'm fine…I'll finish up here…I'm not really hungry…" When Sirius didn't budge from where he was standing, Severus sighed and said, "Black, I'm not hungry…You can go…"

Sirius shook his head and said, "Hell no, Snape…I've already had to deal with Braeden and her language…I'll not hesitate to use a body binding spell and drag your arse up there to eat lunch…"

Severus sighed, rolled his eyes and replied, "Fine…I'll go…Was she that bad?"

Sirius nodded and stated, "She could make a sailor or an auror…or for that matter a fellow Marine….blush with shame…"

"Good grief, Padfoot…Well at least I hope she spoke in English this time…" responded Severus as he put stasis spells on several cauldrons.

"For the most part…She said something else but I'm not sure what language it's in…" answered Sirius

"What did she say?" asked Severus who was genuinely curious.

"I think it was _**'Eloi, Eloi lema sabachthani'**_…What does that mean?" asked Sirius.

"_**My God, My God why hast thou forsaken me?**_ It's in Aramaic, I think…What provoked that?" responded Severus.

"Moony fussed at her for supposedly living on coffee and cigarettes and she said that not to forget the alcohol, nutrient potions, and drugs…then she said something about deserving a medal when she died for putting up with 'this shit'…" explained Sirius, "Moony meant well…we all did, but she blew up…"

"Pads, remember that some topics are very touchy…especially eating and any bad habits that she has…" noted Severus.

"I know, Sev…but she looks like death warmed over…she barely eats, barely sleeps, smokes like a chimney, drinks more than a fish, and won't let anyone help her… She's a good auror…hell she's now director of ABM until this is over…but she's burning the candle at both ends…It's like she's wanting to land herself in Saint Mungo's… or worse…"

"She'll be okay once Charlie's home…until then we keep her physically alive…" sighed Severus as they started up the stairs.

Sirius stopped then turned around and asked, "Why can't you just tell her…"

"How did you…No…I can't…I won't…She's Charlie's girlfriend…" answered Severus slightly stunned.

"Seriously, It's been totally obvious how you feel…You don't hide it very well…She's the only one oblivious to it…" Sirius chuckled slightly.

Severus sighed, "No…I'm not going to do that to Charlie…I'm sorry Padfoot…"

Sirius shook his head and said, "Okay, Sev…It's your life and your choice…"

Braeden was sitting at the coffee table drinking a glass of sweet tea that Gunny had made that morning and handed to her while reading the Charlie wrote to her.

_Braeden,_

_Hello love! How are you? I miss you so much…I wish this was over, I can't take it anymore. I hate being away from you but I know the wizarding communities here better than anyone else in the Order. I know that we fight for what is right, but I'm tired of fighting. I hope that you aren't giving the others in the Order too much hell. Save that for the Death Eaters. Just remember that I love you and think of you every night. I'll be home soon. _

_With all my love, Charlie_

After she read the letter, she carefully folded it and placed it in her pocket. She looked towards the table at the others who were eating lunch. She was glad that she got to pick her team before leaving for Britain. Gunny, Carter, Lorelei, John Michael, and Jacob were her best people that she had. She picked those closest to her because of the fact that she could trust them with her life and that they would never betray the cause. She had worked with all of them for most of her career. Braeden was still lost in thought when Remus came up to her. She slightly jumped when she noticed he was there.

"Sorry about earlier…I worry about you…we all do…Gunny said that you were like this in America…Don't shut us out…" apologized Remus.

"I'm sorry to…I hate to look weak in front of the others. It's just that I end up lashing out at my friends…"she started as Remus noticed her arms. She sighed when she noticed that he saw the scars. "I try so hard not hard to take it out on anyone but me …but it's not an excuse…" she finished.

"I know…but you shouldn't do this to yourself…" Remus said softly.

After the table was cleared, everyone went back to what they were doing before or had planned to do after lunch. Ron, Hermione, and Harry were researching information on the remaining horcruxes with Dumbledore, who just popped by from Hogwarts to help. The twins went back down to the lab with Lorelei and Severus. Bill and Septima were working on encoding and decoding letters with John Michael in the study. Molly and Carter finished cleaning up the table and were going to the kitchen to wash dishes. Gunny and Moody went into the office to discuss the latest intel that they had just decoded with Sirius. Remus followed them into the room. Braeden went to do the same but was stopped by Remus. She looked at him saying, "Let me through, Moony…" and tried to push past him but was stopped by Gunny.

"_Pa Kounye-a, Director…Ou konprann?" _stated the former Marine as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

She glared at him and responded, "_Non…" _as she tried to push his hands away.

"_Wi…Ou pa two byen…"_ stated Gunny, "_Rete! Souple!"_

"Okay…Okay…" sighed Braeden as she walked back towards the chair she was sitting in and sat on the floor with her back against the coffee table.

Remus looked at Gunny confused and asked, "What did you say to her? It worked…What language was that?"

"I told her 'Not Now, Director…You understand?' when she replied 'No', I said 'Yes…You are not too well…Stop! Please!'…It's Creole…My wife's family is of Creole descent…So is Grux and his family…Lorelei, John Michael, and Jacob know enough to get by…The director, I mean Braeden, is fairly fluent…but she's proficient in most languages dead or current…We only use it when we are on a mission for coding messages or conversations…or to get a point across with little embarrassment …" explained Gunny as the two men walked in before closing and locking the door, "She needs to slow down or she'll burn out…"

Severus had gone downstairs with the twins and Lorelei to check and see if everything was okay as well as to see if there was anything else to put in the kits and if those kits were ready for use. After checking, double checking, adding more potions that had stasis spells on them and were finished, and rechecking, Lorelei and the twins had told him that everything was accounted for, he decided to walk back upstairs to go and grab his notes for some new improvements for a few potions. He found his notes on the coffee table near Braeden. He noticed that she had been crying and knew that somehow it had to be his fault. " She's so beautiful…I really need to be honest with her…I hate being the reason she cries…or at least one of the many reasons…But I can't tell her how I feel…I'll tell her everything but that…" he thought silently. He went to ask her if she was okay when she noticed that he was there and turned to look at him. He could tell that what happened the night before was upsetting her and knew that it definitely had to be his fault. "Braeden…I'm sorry for everything that I've done to hurt you…I hate making you cry…Please forgive me…"he said softly as he sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table beside her.

With tears in her eyes, Braeden asked in a shaky voice, "Why did you leave? Please tell me…That's all I want to know…I don't care about the rest…Just that…"

Severus realized that was the reason that she was so upset and even if he did have sex with her, she was more upset about being abandoned the next morning. "I couldn't remember what happened last night…I still don't remember what happened…I was afraid of hurting you…Plus I needed to think and try to remember what happened…I'm sorry that I ended up hurting you anyway…" he responded as he gently started to wipe away the tears from her eyes. He contemplated on giving her a kiss but was afraid of what that small gesture could lead to so he decided against it. "I really need to talk to Bill and get him to help me…I need to find out what happened…It may have been the only chance I will ever have to show her that I'm in love with her…I want to remember that since I can never be with her ever again…not like that at least…" Severus thought quietly to himself as she continued to cry. He wrapped his arms around her as she slipped her arms around him then hid her face and continued to cry. He wished that at that moment that Charlie would walk through the door and that this was over, but his wish didn't come true.

She was still hurt even though he explained to her what happened and apologized to her for his actions. She had hoped that he would say that she was hallucinating and that they talked then he left and nothing more happened. She desperately wanted to not be in love with him because it hurt too much. It was bad enough that she was in love with Charlie and even that was painful. The dragon handler was so kind and loving, she thought that he deserved better than her but she decided to take a chance and start a relationship with him. She and Charlie knew how they felt about each other, her insecurities and her past, and their mutual feeling for a certain potions professor. They had been close since childhood and Charlie had always tried to protect her to the best of his ability. Severus was their professor first, their friend second, and hoped that he would thirdly become more. They knew quite well that they could trust the older man and knew that he trusted them just as much. She didn't want to lose that trust or Charlie's by hiding her pain but she didn't want to be a burden to anyone, especially with Severus or Charlie being the cause of her pain. Severus pulled her out of her thoughts by whispering, "Are you going to be alright? Are we going to be alright?" she pulled away long enough to nod her head before she pushed away from him and went to get up. He stared at her as she slowly got up on her feet. As soon as she steadied herself, the world around her started to spin and fade into white. The last thing that she heard was Severus shouting, "Help! Bill! Get Lorelei! Hurry!" as everything around her went black and she felt weightless.

_**Thanks for those of you who have read this story. I'm starting writing a sequel to "Pretty Rave Girl" titled "Remember Two Things" and it'll deal with Braeden, Severus and Charlie's relationship.**_** Please review! I like reviews! I crave reviews! Thanks goes to Jessalynvix for all of her help! Yet again I'm so sorry that I haven't updated.**


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